Two months into my master's and I am not sure exactly what I have learned. I now know what Magnuson-Stevens says in its entirely (check that off the life list) and I have a vague notion of what marine spatial planning is. However, the most persistant lesson I am taught, day in and day out, is that I know next to nothing.
I am trying to figure out if this is a function of the academic world, or of my mixed class that contains many people who have just come back from jobs in the industry. Regardless, it's hard, but I found comfort in this:
http://jcs.biologists.org/content/121/11/1771.full (The importance of stupidity in scientific research)
I think this article touches on what I'm feeling. Granted I haven't really started researching yet, but the class mock-ups alone are....challenging to me. I have been asked, for example, to design a fake NSF proposal that includes a socio-ecological system. I barely know what this is. And a proposal includes very little regurgitation, which I am so very, very accustomed to. Creativity in problem solving? What is that?
Feeling stupid every day is incredibly unpleasant, but I'm sure that like Schwartz I will someday embrace the process. Now if I could only find an essay or article about one-upmanship in academia, I would be set...
Edit: There does appear to be some work on this; I may be checking out (or actually buying) Fuller's "All Rise: Somebodies, Nobodies and the Politics of Dignities" for his section on One-upmanship and Elitism in Academia alone. In any event, my experiences have been a timely reminder not to fall into the same trap of putting others down for not knowing as much.
